holeee shiz...

when did i get to be a woman? this is weird.

im going home soon, i feel unsettled though, i really wish i knew what i wanted.

mmmm.....

the heart wants what it wants.

when they call your name, will you walk right up? or will you cower in fear, in your favorite sweater?

with an old love letter, i wish you would.

i wish you would.

come pick me up

take me out

fuck me up

steal my records

screw all my friends

behind my back

with a smile on your face

and then do it again

i wish you would.

i wish you would.

im wide awake, its morning

im skipping my class today, and its worth it just to not hear someone bitch at me about how awful my art is..and also, the wind is howling by our building and straight down daughtrey, its sounds like its talking, ooooo, like its angry, or telling me that something is going to happen, i dont know what, its almost sounds like a macchina. 

in other notes, i got a new group of toiletries which all have a tropical theme. kuku coco butter deodorant is my favorite so far. i Have a fruity shampoo, a coco butter body scrub, and a new electric toothbrush. Really i think people underestimate the power of a good line of toiletries, they must fit you like your clothes fit you, like your roomates fit you, like you bed feels. it must be a perfect match, like a glove, it will severely improve your predicament. 

ps i had a talk with this guy about how to simulate gravity today, it was awesome.

pss. i have a new appreciation for post modernism and crabapples

psss. i have so much freaking work to do today

 ok ima go take a shower, and see what these babies can do.

jess

bouncing ideas around

i know i live in the bible belt. i know my mother would endorse it, i suppose i should attend church this sunday. But this is my sanctuary. Here in the oxygen, reveling in the light, becoming the corpse of structure and the embodiment of pleasure. Where light rubber meets pavement, and metacarpals twist and readjust with each, minute, stupid, rhythmic movement. And i run. Beat, beat, beat, beat, step, step, step. Breath, breath, breath, breath, Gasping for the infinite and taking it in each 2.5 seconds, and losing it, over and over again, making it all the more precious. Losing and gaining, inhale and exhale. Becoming almost comfortable with intense gratification and suddenly losing it before you even accept it. Enjoying the consonance just as much as the dissonance, the yin like the yang. like intercourse, like suffocating, dying and being reborn repeatedly until the entire human experience is engrained metaphorically into my function. And this is my worship. The Genesis and exodus of all things happens here, in my lugs, in my own tissue. And that means sanctity i think. a god is in within my tissue and i worship my own anatomy. Not only am i falling at my own feet, but on them, using them. I will salvage this power from within my self and love myself for all that i am and am not. for every freckle hair allllll the curve, all the angles, every scar, tendon and magnificent coursing of blood throuch each tiny tunnel and out through the cavities of my aorta! and i will let the salt and moisture pour down my most beautiful face until it cannot take it anymore because i can! i can! i will move and use my body because i can! mobility! catharsis! pain! sanctuaarrryyyyyy!!!

nueva

a fresh start, a clean sweep, my life from now to...whenever. sometimes you should just switch journals all together, a new phase, a new journal, a new city, a new name. So, as of late, things are pretty well. I'm alot happier than i have been in a while, knock on wood, although, desire is desire anywhere you go, ive heard. 

I love discovery.