today

i want to explore, i want very very very very badly to explore. I have the bug, i have the itch, i have the drive, the drive? eh. anyways, im going to use this week to be, i thought about going home for a bit, i found a pretty cheap fare, but then i realized i had plenty to explore here. And as neat as it would be to surprise the rents, I've gotta go, i've gotta run, i've gotta go to austin today....i wish someone wanted to go as much as i do.

I want to do more than just exist, i wanna cover miles, and see things that i know are there but just waiting for me.

Ugh.

I feel so stuck here...I want to go by myself, but it would be so nice to have a group of friends that also enjoy it. Have people forgotten? Has everyone forgotten what it feels like to be enthralled!!??? There is so much to do, and im on the verge of it all the time! on the crest! ready to dive in, but am stifled and extinguished by the solitary feeling. I'm so confused, it seems this opportunity is just slowly passing. There are very few things that make me mad, actually mad, blazingly hotly irrevocably mad! Laziness! I HATE LAZINESS

I simply cannot resign myself to sitting all day while i have what everyone envies and is always trying to get. time. 

I swear to god if i have to go by myself i will. But nothing makes me angrier than wasting a day with television and food and vodka that could be so much more.

i fucking hate laziness

hate 

hate hate hate hate hate ahte hatehate

hate it.

the day is when things happen! the day is when people move!! things are open! light makes itself available for the copying!! the day the day the day!!!!

wake up!