moving day

movin' out, boxin' away, sad day but still satisfying in a weird benevolent way. like a job well done or something. anyways, in keeping with deandre's idea of a picture a day, this is my effort...

so glad this girl moved in this year.

and i love that she was packing in that hat.

the realistically perfect day

my idea of a perfect day. I will make this happen soon

wake up with devendra banhart playing "chinese children"...smell the daisies in my room put on my favorite work out clothes...1.the green shirt with the pocket

      2. the slightly baggy black running shorts

      3.purple sports bra, hair up, the mismatched socks cuz my left needs more cushion than my right, and a crazy amount of energy from a good nights sleep.

next...running in 78 degrees..sahhhhwett. bear trail twice...jump in the bp2 pool, run home damp.

shower, shave, lunch at teriyaki park....spicy salmon roll mmmmmmmmmmm

home.

pack up memories..while listening to m.i.a.

put together new outfit. killer.

finish my scheduele for the summer.

start new painting.

call seany and d.

party hardy.

sleep past midnight.

do it again.

i hope this happens soon.

the first time i looked you in the face i fell on the floor. It had been a really long time, we had known each other forever, i never looked in the face.

Thinking back on it i'm not sure i can even validate or describe what I saw.

Ojos.

your eyes were like, like these orbs. Glassy and pale pale verde.

Drunk? maybe. 

honest? yes

tired? absolutely

very tired

very sweet

They were so precious, they looked like if i plucked them out that they would kept in a velvet box with gold dipped metal work encasing it. And then put on some kind of a shelf with flood lights in an upper middle class home.

they have been the best plague lately.

Maybe i'm imagining things, in all honesty i was not the most sober person in the room.

But that little snip of a few seconds has been the catalyst for so much, i just cant put it down.

It was a pretty little death though, i suppose. Quiet and consuming.

Honestly im not worreid about the benefits, it just feels so good all the time.

at a distance, quiet, still, non existent. still.

i miss the orbs anyway.

at any rate, you certainly have an interesting point of view.

sweet, soft, consuming.

It grew up through a tree and stopped at the ceiling, maybe i kept going. Staccato. 

Oh yeah, it was staccato.

i just fell i love with devendra banhart.

crash.

my walls are slowly crumbling i think.

other's a built back up.

It feels good to be vulnerable though.

good in a scary way.

I hope you guys all know how much i love all of you.

no really,

i love you.

I dont know when it happened.

I dont know why i let it,

but i do.

viciously. 

the things ive come to love the most are the things that ive hung on to without reason, the things that i didnt think anything would come of, life always takes me by surprise. Its just impossible to avoid i think.

j

i've done the run around.

I've had someone to know

someone to leave

and someone to talk to 

i want someone to love.

to build with.

to seep into.

to change with.

to explore with.

to hear.

one more project to go.

crazy scheduele.

unclear future.

one potential roomie down.... a million differnt ways to go.

i need a sign.

pleaseeeeeeee, gimme a sign. i'm going to gently suggest that it is sooner rather than later.

also let it be noted that there is nothing i find more attrac

tive than watching someone smile. Its just ridiculous what that does to me.

gah.

:) ps i miss this girl.

winking blinking and nod

okay..

get it together. choose something.

take the winking and blinking...take the nod into account, and choose.

should be an easy week school wise after today and my carolee schneemann paper whom you guys should wiki because she is really interesting.

to lake jackson and beyond..do do do doooooooo!

ugh

why is it that when you try to be vulnerable you just end up looking stupid?

yeesh.

lunch.