I feel like I should compile this list, and i dont know where else to do it:
Most influential and moving song lyrics that I have come across in the recent past...as I think of them in no particular order, and not necessarily synonymous with the quality of the song and/or artist(i guess just lyrics that have meant something to me):
"We’re just a million little god’s causin rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.I guess we'll just have to adjust."-arcade fire
"its a bittersweet symphony this life" -the verve
"louder than sirens louder than bells sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell"-flo and the machine
"all the roads we have to walk are winding and all the lights that lead us there are blinding"-oasis
"lover, you should have come over."-jeff buckley
"this is how it works youre young until youre not, you love until you dont, you try until you cant, you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh and everyone must breathe until theyre dyin breath"-regina
"I cant take my eyes of you, I cant take my mind off you"-damien rice
"I'm never gonna know you now but im gonna love you anyhow"-elliot smith
"we were sixteen maybe less, maybe a little more"-iron and wine
"you plant a rose and if the rose comes up youre thankful to god and if it doesnt you cuss em'...But, oh, what a beautiful thing when you sing...Hear all them bells ringing out in the street, Hammer strikes the metal and it makes me believe"-ryan adams
"It's you heart, its in your art your beauty, even in this world of lies theres purity you got innocence in you eyes, even in this world of lies youre still hopeful very sexy very sexy"-jb but better as mph
"oh my my, oh hell yes, honey put on that party dress"-tp
"Gravity is working against me,And gravity wants to bring me down...Oh twice as much aint twice as good,And can't sustain like a one half could, It's wanting more, That's gonna send me to my knees"-jm
"come pick me up take me out fuck me up and steal my records, screw all my friends behind my back, with a smile on your face and then do it again"-ryan adams
"if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs, if theres no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i will follow you into the dark"-death cab for cutie
The entirety of "fake plastic trees" by radiohead, most notably " i cant help but feelin' i could blow through the ceilin'"...and most of that album...all of that album.
what lyrics have stuck with you guys?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Pardon the mess, I'm remodeling.
Is it wrong to want more than this? Wait, not more, different.
I want to construct and be consumed, To build and rebuild, to not be at a loss for words.
I want to lift your grimy fingertips off my skin and have to you look right back at me the same way im looking at you.
I want to be satiated and challenged.
I want to have sex, and not be held accountable.
I want to feel like life is more than a series of wanting and gaining and pining.
I need to feel that ive done my part, but have given to myself in the process.
I want to stay up until five am. I want freedom.
I want to admit when im lonely and not expect some kind of bullshit sympathy, I just want to feel it, and admit it, fully. Im lonely. There.
I think im going to have to find my own way, or make it. I'll make it.
What the fuck is so wrong with being honest anyways? Im so frustrated all the time with what is and isn't acceptable to say, im just so fucking tired of it, i think i could bottle up and explode. I know that its not admirable and i know its seems im a quitter,selfish,unrealistic. What the hell is wrong with me? Is anything wrong with me?
Am i that person who sucks life from others and breathes nothing in return. Have i no output?
Im sure you'll all have something to say about me.
Im sure ive already said plenty of it myself.
Introvert, Extrovert, Lazy, Megalomaniac, Insecure, Overly Secure, Honest, Unapologetic, small, simple, yearning, temperamental, emotional, doomed, a square in a round peg.
But right now im just dark.
Im just a deep green with flecks of olive.
Im some kind of glowing otherwise.
How strange and how beautiful.
How tragic and not.
Sometimes i want nothing to do with life.
Sometimes i want all over me.
Im sure id love to say something else that makes sense, but i dont really care enough right now.
yours,
the impostor.
sincerely,
the scam artist.
love,
baggy jeans, a bra, and everything bitter.
That's what little girls are made of.
j
I want to construct and be consumed, To build and rebuild, to not be at a loss for words.
I want to lift your grimy fingertips off my skin and have to you look right back at me the same way im looking at you.
I want to be satiated and challenged.
I want to have sex, and not be held accountable.
I want to feel like life is more than a series of wanting and gaining and pining.
I need to feel that ive done my part, but have given to myself in the process.
I want to stay up until five am. I want freedom.
I want to admit when im lonely and not expect some kind of bullshit sympathy, I just want to feel it, and admit it, fully. Im lonely. There.
I think im going to have to find my own way, or make it. I'll make it.
What the fuck is so wrong with being honest anyways? Im so frustrated all the time with what is and isn't acceptable to say, im just so fucking tired of it, i think i could bottle up and explode. I know that its not admirable and i know its seems im a quitter,selfish,unrealistic. What the hell is wrong with me? Is anything wrong with me?
Am i that person who sucks life from others and breathes nothing in return. Have i no output?
Im sure you'll all have something to say about me.
Im sure ive already said plenty of it myself.
Introvert, Extrovert, Lazy, Megalomaniac, Insecure, Overly Secure, Honest, Unapologetic, small, simple, yearning, temperamental, emotional, doomed, a square in a round peg.
But right now im just dark.
Im just a deep green with flecks of olive.
Im some kind of glowing otherwise.
How strange and how beautiful.
How tragic and not.
Sometimes i want nothing to do with life.
Sometimes i want all over me.
Im sure id love to say something else that makes sense, but i dont really care enough right now.
yours,
the impostor.
sincerely,
the scam artist.
love,
baggy jeans, a bra, and everything bitter.
That's what little girls are made of.
j
Friday, September 3, 2010
Hey Stranger.
Hey guys, its been a while.
Sup atlanta, its really been a while.
oh, concept of home, i hardly recognize you.
I haven't wanted to blog in a while because I've been working out how i feel about things, how i feel about here and being away from all of you, and how what i think about money and what i think about advertising and all the shit that im supposed to be behind, for, and cheering at 100 percent all the time. But the truth is that im not really ANYTHING 100 percent of the time. I cant understand why no one seems to be happy at their jobs, why it seems im wasting my body and my time trying to achieve. That kind of thing is just a jagged pill i guess. Its hard to swallow so much thats been thrown at me right now. Why do we make ourselves feel guilty if we dont feel miserable? Its this sort of believe and achieve, succeed and achieve attitude instilled in us that makes us quite frankly feel uncomfortable, lazy, or inadequate, island-like if we do not form to it. It is sometimes to much for me. Sometimes the pain underneath and running through everything in the world is too much for me to handle, i can hardly take a breath thinking of things that happen to my friends on the regular and to others and the god forsaken bogged down mess it all is. The sobering reality that we are slaves to money. The idea that we must sacrifice relevancy for freedom.The fact that everyone is coping with their own insecurities in myriad ways that all bounce back and forth at each other with no rhyme or reason except to make us all miserable. And then sometimes, the right song comes on, or the right beat just moves through you and you blast that radio and scream it down the highway up the whole lane, at the whole highway, at the city, at the whole god damned world. Sometimes the brevity of everything is too much to handle. Sometimes the beauty of it is is just as overwhelming. Its a bittersweet symphony that i can only find relief in through expression. Every single person is looking for the same thing, to be heard, understood, to know that you heard them and understood them.
It feels good to purge my frustrations here but I also accumulate some amount of guilt in the process, like i should feel bad for doing my dirty laundry in public. But i think that's shit. Im not angry all of the time, and im not suffocated all the time. My heart was not made to have an address, but im trying to find the fantastic in having a spot. It is sometimes good to do things you dont want to do. A wise, crusty old woman once told me that the way to discern the difference between quitting and choosing is to ask yourself..."am i wasting my time or is it just hard?"
Im not anything all the time.
Sometimes im a quitter, more often than not i stick it out.
I have days where i feel low and frustrated and i think my life has worn out all its magic, and there are days when i think i could just weep for how lucky i am and how powerful i feel.
Im hungry all day on monday. on tuesday i ate some watermelon and thats it.
Im lazy and productive, brave and chickenshit, refined and abrasive, made-up glittery and homely with messy hair.
Im a woman on a good day and an acting man on a smart one.
Im thankful all the time, but i forget it when im angry.
Im not sorry for not being everything to everyone all the time.
Im not sorry for evading equilibrium.
Im not sorry at all.
As much of a strange sweet that this move(back) seems that it will be, I AM really enjoying my roommates and new neighbors, the prospect of community, and the possibility of friends coming my way. I have had a year to use and guest, and now it is my turn to give and host.
In my quest to get cozy ive acquainted myself with and compiled a list of all of my favorite culinary discoveries in the immediate area, i know i dont technically run a food blog but indulge me...
King of Pops
26 year old beautiful blue eyed something or other (i cant remember his name) quit his desk job to start a popsicle business, King of pops, but not just any popsicle business. This guys sells amazing, handmade, in season, gourmet, occasionally alcoholic popsicles. Flavors include chocolate sea salt, lemon basil, georgia peach, nectarine mojito, arnold palmer,pear honey, banana puddin', watermelon peppercorn and so on... best catch em while ya can, he moves around midtown all day tweeting his whereabouts. 2 50 a pop. My roommate crushes him, i get the feeling I'll be eating a lot of popsicles this year.
Rosebud
This place is fantastic, not a minute walking distance from my house, sells entirely local food tailored to the culinary southerner, and coincidentally my new place of work. Beautifully plated, flawlessly furnished, devastatingly charming. As an added bonus there's a farmers market every Saturday morning on the patio, and live music every Wednesday. Rosebudatlanta.com
Atlanta Cupcake Factory
Guess who makes gluten free batches at request two days in advance? This guyyyyy! Im pretty stoked about this one. Enough said.
Of course really if you ask me, the best restaurant in town in just downstairs. Im in a serious cookathon with myself lately with all this time and a kitchen.
Still not sorry,
-j
Sup atlanta, its really been a while.
oh, concept of home, i hardly recognize you.
I haven't wanted to blog in a while because I've been working out how i feel about things, how i feel about here and being away from all of you, and how what i think about money and what i think about advertising and all the shit that im supposed to be behind, for, and cheering at 100 percent all the time. But the truth is that im not really ANYTHING 100 percent of the time. I cant understand why no one seems to be happy at their jobs, why it seems im wasting my body and my time trying to achieve. That kind of thing is just a jagged pill i guess. Its hard to swallow so much thats been thrown at me right now. Why do we make ourselves feel guilty if we dont feel miserable? Its this sort of believe and achieve, succeed and achieve attitude instilled in us that makes us quite frankly feel uncomfortable, lazy, or inadequate, island-like if we do not form to it. It is sometimes to much for me. Sometimes the pain underneath and running through everything in the world is too much for me to handle, i can hardly take a breath thinking of things that happen to my friends on the regular and to others and the god forsaken bogged down mess it all is. The sobering reality that we are slaves to money. The idea that we must sacrifice relevancy for freedom.The fact that everyone is coping with their own insecurities in myriad ways that all bounce back and forth at each other with no rhyme or reason except to make us all miserable. And then sometimes, the right song comes on, or the right beat just moves through you and you blast that radio and scream it down the highway up the whole lane, at the whole highway, at the city, at the whole god damned world. Sometimes the brevity of everything is too much to handle. Sometimes the beauty of it is is just as overwhelming. Its a bittersweet symphony that i can only find relief in through expression. Every single person is looking for the same thing, to be heard, understood, to know that you heard them and understood them.
It feels good to purge my frustrations here but I also accumulate some amount of guilt in the process, like i should feel bad for doing my dirty laundry in public. But i think that's shit. Im not angry all of the time, and im not suffocated all the time. My heart was not made to have an address, but im trying to find the fantastic in having a spot. It is sometimes good to do things you dont want to do. A wise, crusty old woman once told me that the way to discern the difference between quitting and choosing is to ask yourself..."am i wasting my time or is it just hard?"
Im not anything all the time.
Sometimes im a quitter, more often than not i stick it out.
I have days where i feel low and frustrated and i think my life has worn out all its magic, and there are days when i think i could just weep for how lucky i am and how powerful i feel.
Im hungry all day on monday. on tuesday i ate some watermelon and thats it.
Im lazy and productive, brave and chickenshit, refined and abrasive, made-up glittery and homely with messy hair.
Im a woman on a good day and an acting man on a smart one.
Im thankful all the time, but i forget it when im angry.
Im not sorry for not being everything to everyone all the time.
Im not sorry for evading equilibrium.
Im not sorry at all.
As much of a strange sweet that this move(back) seems that it will be, I AM really enjoying my roommates and new neighbors, the prospect of community, and the possibility of friends coming my way. I have had a year to use and guest, and now it is my turn to give and host.
In my quest to get cozy ive acquainted myself with and compiled a list of all of my favorite culinary discoveries in the immediate area, i know i dont technically run a food blog but indulge me...
King of Pops
26 year old beautiful blue eyed something or other (i cant remember his name) quit his desk job to start a popsicle business, King of pops, but not just any popsicle business. This guys sells amazing, handmade, in season, gourmet, occasionally alcoholic popsicles. Flavors include chocolate sea salt, lemon basil, georgia peach, nectarine mojito, arnold palmer,pear honey, banana puddin', watermelon peppercorn and so on... best catch em while ya can, he moves around midtown all day tweeting his whereabouts. 2 50 a pop. My roommate crushes him, i get the feeling I'll be eating a lot of popsicles this year.
Rosebud
This place is fantastic, not a minute walking distance from my house, sells entirely local food tailored to the culinary southerner, and coincidentally my new place of work. Beautifully plated, flawlessly furnished, devastatingly charming. As an added bonus there's a farmers market every Saturday morning on the patio, and live music every Wednesday. Rosebudatlanta.com
Atlanta Cupcake Factory
Guess who makes gluten free batches at request two days in advance? This guyyyyy! Im pretty stoked about this one. Enough said.
Of course really if you ask me, the best restaurant in town in just downstairs. Im in a serious cookathon with myself lately with all this time and a kitchen.
Still not sorry,
-j
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