its all relative.

Something that really fascinates me about language and life is our distinct and undying and universal need to communicate, and to create. Which are arguably the same thing. Which is also the reason im having such a hell of a time trying to choose between the two as a concentration. I wonder, which will i become bored with? Both and neither. Crippling indecision, will always be a problem for me i think. I guess I dont really mind all that much. Anyways, i have this theory...i cant really back it up well, but i just have a hunch that people need to make themselves known, that everyone has a strange and inexplicable desire to make others aware of them and their needs. And yes we are so shamed by our needs, sometimes pushing them to the point of and equating them with vanity.

I dont believe in vanity. I dont think.. Life is vanity, intrinsically. We are a people of ourselves, and therefore of each other. Every endeavor in our entire existence is in ultimate effort understand ourselves or others ( and even then, how they relate to us) self interest is just the nature of things i think. It shouldn't be so negatively connotative, we are infinitely interesting, our own personal puzzle. I choose to embrace it, for study of self is study of other as well. I dont blame myself...we, you, they, I am hypnotically full of study, full of mystery, an every changing labyrinth, a watch with no watch maker, a library, a thousand lifetimes.

I love chocolate and prefer it to almost anything else to eat. On the other hand my taste in food is incredibly liberal and constantly changing, but honestly im happy no being stuffed, and im happy eating only eggs and vegetables for the rest of my life. I frequently prefer a raw carrot or onion, and i dont mind eating them for weeks at a time. Im not sad that im "sick" im happy that im not. I value health with almost a passion, almost a spiritual conviction.
I prefer a good brisk run in 90 degree weather over any travel.
I prefer good friends to any location.
I sometimes feel phony and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Constantly afraid, never a wimp.
thankful thankful thankful.
I love you, yeah all of you, I cant help it.
There is good and bad in everyone, there is alot of both in me.
I cant look at my personal pictures of my life after a certain time, it makes me miss them so much i really feel that ache in my throat like just before you start to cry, but cant, it sucks because I want to.
My favorite music is all music.
My favorite colors are most of them.
I sort of love and hate this about me.
Sun Sun Sunshine, bring it on.
sometimes reclusive, sometimes hungry for contact.
Usually am dying to say what im really thinking, but tone it down quite a bit.
There is value in everything.
Everyone has something in common.
Compulsion to talk about food, music, and human behavior pretty consistantly.
Stifled. Sometimes.
I need space to make my own, its something i have found i have trouble living well without. Not a huge space, nothing fancy, just mine. sanctuary!