blink.

Something i really like about current technology is that it gives us ease with which to document ourselves.Its fast and easy and amazing. I can blink, and there's laday gaga, i can sneeze and theres the official definition of "wigwam" For instance, i can look of a video of myself exactly one year ago today, and remember, and weep, and clap, and say...

that I don't think birthdays are really that much fun after a while, well, no, i take that back...they're fun but they no longer represent what they used to. Nowadays, i dont feel like im racing to the next one, in fact, i only just realized that i will be 23 in 7 days because i realized it was going to be Easter soon, and that always reminds me of my birthday. Ive never really been huge on them anyways, when other people were planning their wild parties and asking for gifts, i was never really keen on the whole idea. I don't dislike the whole "lets figure out how old our bodies are and track it" thing, im just really apathetic about it now. The most i need is a big hug, a great run, and a cappuccino, happy birthday....ta me.
Any-who...getting older is strange, i dont feel the push propelling me towards old age, but now feel like im deteriorating. Its weird how that happens. I know physically, im in my prime, but that worries me. The loss of efficient physicality really freaks me. The other "new" thing about birthdays for me, is that i start to make sure ive used my current year to the best of my ability, and ive started to track projected arrivals...like...okay if i do this, then this, i will be 25 when i graduate, i will be 26 when...and then holy how, im almost thirty, and where the hell did the time go? All the good is right here with me now. In my own face, in my own hands, in my fucked digestive system and horrible skin, and bouncy hair and freckles. You can learn so much from looking at your own reflection. Its slipping away so so fast, life is such a blip. Its amazing how quickly it goes. I feel that if i blink, ill be dead.

keeping my eyes open

j