when i was a little girl,

i used to spend hours and hours trying to catch a fish in the ocean.

i used the same tactics repeatedly and without rest.

I would have stayed there all night if my mother had not made me go inside.

any sane person would have given up.

but at the end of each try, i thought of finally being able to hold that fish made me try one more time.

Until eventually, i realized the fish was uncatchable.

At one point, my mother paid a 12 year old boy with a net to catch a fish and put it in my bucket when i wasnt looking.

I thought i had caught it.

But somehow it wasnt the same.