Here, now.

Im alot of things, which is why i should be an artist, which is why i am without meaning to be sometimes, so theres that. I want to just strip all the outside from myself and say everything I am, but im not sure i always know, and thats okay i guess. I suppose im someone who loves natural anything, and thinks that peace is the stuff of tomorrow. Im also someone who would take a pair of scissors to most anything just to see what happens. Im a worrier, a really, really, big worrier, in spite of every attempt and rationalization not to be. Sick. Literally sick with worry sometimes, now even. I can compose some pretty good things in more ways than one. I'd love to be a knockout, you know, that red nailed plump lipped goddess that stalks around places silently and evasively with coals for eyes. Suckers never saw it commin' did they? But im not really, im not that person, im somebody with scars for freckles and question marks for eyes, horrible posture, a short curvy so and so, with what im told is better than average hair. so theres that. I have a slightly awkward demeanor, rolling my eyes unintentionally, without direction at any one thing reflexively. But my skin is exhausted, mangled and discolored, my joints are achy, afflicted. And my insides are sometimes bone weary from all the discomfort. I not always someone that knows what she wants but who wants to always know, so theres that. My spine wants to stretch out and i never feel quite right in a resting position. ha. I want the simplest of things, all the time, and somehow can never seem to obtain them. I feel overly anticipated by others. I have never taken for granted other people, i dont think. Really i feel increasingly sentimental about good friends, so much i want to cry, and get cuddly with them. I grind my teeth...apparently. I love dark rooms, and bright outsides, an extremist. I like warm rain but cold water. I like to be alone, but i like to be with you too. I get lonely. I get independent. Im terrified of failing health, and senses. Im not afraid of old age just of an old body. Im not afraid of death, just of not living. Intuitive. Easily overwhelmed. Unaware. Perceptive. Jack of all trades master of none. Eager too learn, tires easily. Real and simple is best, throw in a neon tutu and ive got it made in the shade. There's good and bad in everything. Everything in moderation. I get down. I grow up. I grow tired.

I grow tired of everything, but what do i want to keep growing tired of?

J

Apparently, im also someone who occasionally designs clothes out of lack of creative manifestations. These are some recents. meh.